Step Nine can leave you emotionally exhausted; it’s a difficult step to navigate. But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive. On the other hand, making amends with someone is more than just words.
By now, life is starting to calm down, life has calmed down, some relationships have become better and you’re starting to feel more peaceful. You may have the occasional bad dream but the sense of true freedom from active addiction is starting to take hold. Chances are, you’ve traveled a painful, uphill journey to get to Step 8. Before long, you realize that you’re are clean and sober and now have with seven steps under your belt. You’ve likely experienced some uphill battles but with that, but you’ve probably also experienced some of the many gifts of recovery.
Different Types of Amends
Another example would be of a person who’s been a taker all their lives suddenly decides they no longer want to be self-centered and selfish. They may choose to make living what is a living amends amends by promising to change their ways and become more helpful to others. Again, in recovery, your words may not mean as much to some people as you wish they would.
Making an apology simply involves telling the person you hurt you are sorry. The inflection in your voice should convey remorse and show the other person you acknowledge your behavior hurt them in some manner. However, it does not let the person know you have changed your behaviors. My experience here at Discovery Institute has been very valuable during my 90 day stay. I have learned more about myself and the importance of applying the tools Discovery has taught me once I leave.
Learn more with
Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9. But amends are so much more than just making a list and saying you are sorry, and this is where it becomes important to understand the difference between making an amends and making an apology. Teasing out the difference between guilt and regret can be tough. It can be tempting to say things like “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you,” but try to avoid these blanket statements.
Essentially, it means making a radical shift in the way you live and sticking to that. When you make living amends, you make genuine changes to support your emotional and physical sobriety. In doing so, you promise to live a sober and honest life and never return to your old ways of lying and hurting the people you love the most.
Making Amends in Addiction Recovery
You may couple that making of amends with a request for forgiveness. We can go to them directly and work through it (or at least try). Like the definition says, amends is something we do to make up for something we feel guilty for. It is different from an apology, which is “a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure”. An apology doesn’t include an action that attempts to make up or compensate for that wrongdoing.
Landmark Recovery provides drug and alcohol recovery centers that help addicts take the first steps towards achieving and maintaining sobriety. Our therapy programs help patients to understand and cope with past mistakes with the eventual goal of leading a happy, fulfilling life that is substance free. Our caring staff is trained in residential treatment, individual and group therapy, as well as an intensive outpatient program and detox treatment. It repairs trust.You may feel like an entirely different person upon completing an addiction treatment program, but the people you’ve hurt in the past don’t know the “new” you. It may take a lot of work to rebuild the trust of your family and friends, and making amends can help move the process along. Every person enrolled in a drug and alcohol rehab program will have a different experience making amends.
We are proud to be not only dually accredited, but accredited by many of the Nation’s most respected accrediting bodies. Every day, 44 Americans die from overdoses involving prescription opioids. Learn how we are continuing our mission to be a force of hope and healing, and what we are doing on the front lines to help families and communities affected by opioid addiction. If you are working a 12 step program, than we suggest talking to your sponsor about these kinds of things. He’s a teenager, so I try to let him function at that age level. When he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions.
- Creating peace in an abusive dynamic is often tasked to victims.
- For this reason, amends are an ongoing process without an end date.
- You may have the occasional bad dream but the sense of true freedom from active addiction is starting to take hold.
- Another example would be of a person who’s been a taker all their lives suddenly decides they no longer want to be self-centered and selfish.
One very effective way to make amends is to go to treatment. At FHE Health, you’ll learn more about Step 9 and how to handle the worst of experiences. For many, this is one of the most important components of recovery, because it allows them to work on rebuilding their relationships and letting go of those they cannot repair.